A bastard, since the day I was birthed.
Life as fuck
@god why did you allow this to happen to one of your angels
Does anything normal ever happen in Florida?
Nah. No chill.
I WOULDN’T EVEN BE MAD
Decided to take a video while flying this morning.
Best. Idea. Ever.
Reminder that this actually exists in our world
THIS IS REAL
I’m gonna cry.
i just read this and thought “humans cant fly dont lie to me sir” then realised, airplanes.
This post always slaps me in the face
"Hey can I borrow your phone?"
“Yeah just give me one sec”
craigslist houseshare ad: “i have a garden growing in my shower so you have to use eco-friendly hair products. you will see worms and other insects, and you will occasionally see a spider too but they all help out the ecosystem.”
So… this just happened
Oh, is it Edge Day or something?
2 years later still the dumbest shit i ever seen
Swerve ass bitch
“Right now I’m moving from pantries to soup kitchens to shelters.”
“What was your upbringing like?”
“I’d say dysfunctional but fair.”
“How was it dysfunctional and how was it fair?”
“It was dysfunctional because there was alcohol everywhere. There was a lot of cussing and calling me names like ‘piece of shit.’ But it was fair because I always had a place to stay and clothes on my back. And I did the Boy Scouts or the Boy’s Club, or whatever that was called. But in the end, the alcohol won out.”