This is why you don't buy Orre-made knockoff pokedexes from shady back alley dealers.
Written by Gabe, Drawn by Plus5Pencil
WARNING: May contain lead
Umbreon wes Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested Pokemon Misbehaving
When they’re excited their rings start to glow and they get mysterious power. On top of that, they have poisonous sweat. Gross.
(Plus5Pencil: I’m still out of commission, so Gabe took up the mantle of Ghettodex illustrator for today. He’s fanboying about Chuggaconroy’s next Let’s Play being Pokemon Colosseum)
Oshawott pokemon Ghettodex pokedex requested
The scallop on oshawott’s stomach is made from the same stuff as its claws. Wait, what? How does that work?
(Note from Plus5Pencil: My hands are busted again, so Imma be good and not draw until they heal. Hopefully I can get back to work soon. Bye!)
Mawile pokemon Ghettodex pokedex requested
The jaws on their heads are actually horns. Don’t ask me why they look like a mouth, I really don’t know.
Empoleon Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested
The one with the biggest horns rules the group. I guess you could say *JOKE REMOVED FOR BEING TOO AWFUL*
Ghettodex Quilava pokedex pokemon requested Stupid Sexy Pokemon
Gives show your ass a whole new meaning. With burns, oh the burns.
Cubone Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested
Cubone is kinda like Batman, only cubone took his mom’s skull and-wait a tick, I just got one from breeding a male marowak with a ditto. WHAT HAPPENED?
Rayquaza Ghettodex pokemon pokedex Ouendan
This giant dude can block out the fucking sun! For the love of god don’t piss it off unless you have a team of ouendan on standby.
(A little something to soothe the wounds of the Gen 3 fans who didn’t get the rerelease they were hoping for yesterday.)
Clefairy Ghettodex nsfw pokedex pokemon requested Pokemon Misbehaving
Cute as they are, these guys are loud-mouthed assholes. Fucking selfish to boot.
(We’ll go back to drooling over the Gen 6 teaser now. )
Ghettodex Sableye brendan nsfw pokedex pokemon requested Stupid Sexy Pokemon
Because of all the gems they eat, they now have gem bits growing from their bodies - HOLY SHIT THAT’S TERRIFYING
Donphan Ghettodex Maxie pokedex pokemon requested Orre is a shitty place
If you start seeing pink ones, it’s time to stop drinking.
Feraligatr Archer pokemon Ghettodex pokedex requested
SWEET ARCEUS HE’S GOT ARCHER AND HE’S GONNA DO A DEATH ROLL!
Caitlin Ghettodex Reuniclus pokedex pokemon requested Pokemon Mishaps
Oh man that’s nasty.
Hydreigon Deino Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested
So if I stick three deinos together, do I get one of these?
Seel Koga Lt. Surge Ghettodex pokemon pokedex Pokemon Misbehaving requested
Seels need some damn sensitivity training. These guys are pricks!
Dunsparce pokemon Ghettodex pokedex requested Pokemon Misbehaving
These little boozers are awesome drinking buddies. Just don’t scare them or they’ll burry themselves underground.
Chatot Ghettodex pokemon pokedex
Chatot can bust some mean rhymes.
(For New Years we decided to do a little switcheroo. Gabe did the art, despite having no idea how Photoshop works, and Five was permitted to write the entry. Five is normally banned from writing the jokes because of what happened last time she did that ghettodex.
Happy holidays, stay safe, and remember, the cops can’t legally make you take a sobriety test.)
Delibird pokemon Ghettodex pokedex Pokemon Misbehaving
These birds like to give presents to good little boys and girls. As for the naughty ones…
Delibird Stantler pokemon
Plus5Pencil is still preoccupied with festivities, but had enough time to collab with Gabe. Happy Winter Whatever, everybody!
Please remember, Winter is NOT stantler hunting season. Think of the children.
Ghettodex Krookodile pokedex pokemon requested Pokemon Misbehaving
Ever since I got one I always feel like somebody’s watching me, and I got no privacy.
Braviary Duskull pokemon pokedex Ghettodex requested
These birds evolved when given super serum, are abnormally afraid of ice types, and have an affinity for shields.
Regigigas Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested
Of course this pokemon takes a few turns to get going. You just woke him up and expect him to be up and ready to go?
Skarmory Nate pokemon Ghettodex pokedex requested
This bastard can fly up to 300 km/h. They normally take off right before a trainer would find them, and give a distinctive “trololo” call.
Pichu Ash Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested pokemon mishaps
These little mice keep shocking themselves when they attack, get them a shock absorbing diaper or something.
Tepig nate Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested
These are the most popular starters in Unova. Mostly because they cook themselves when they attack, AND they go great with everything.
(Sorry the update is so late, and if you were wondering, Tumblr’s downtime had nothing to do with us.
Aggron Ghettodex pokemon pokedex Pulgasari requested
If you say anything about this pokemon being made of rice and blood he’ll fucking kill you. Kaiju movies are fuckin weird.
Duskull Lucian Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested
Duskull wanders around lost in the night. Normally they get caught when asking trainers where the local diner is.
Ho-oh morty Ghettodex pokedex pokemon requested
Ho-oh is a renown pokemon among the homosexual population, and a top-notch faghag.
(Disclaimer: Gabe is a big homo. Please don’t yell at us ^)
Flygon pokemon pokedex Ghettodex requested
Don’t take these poor bros into cold weather. Really that’s just a dick move man, dick move.
Archen Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested pokemon mishaps
These pokemon have such low self-esteem, when you hurt them they don’t even wanna fight anymore :c
Sawk Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested
Tying their belts gets them ready to kick some serious ass, kinda like in a kung fu movie after a guy puts on his headband.
Elgyem pokemon Ghettodex pokedex Fermi's Paradox
SUCK IT, FERMI!
(Gabe: 5 said I was allowed to nerd out for one entry, this is the result.)
Articuno Ghettodex Lawrence III pokedex pokemon requested Pokemon Misbehaving
Articuno often look for travelers trapped in snow storms, and laugh at their misery.
Gallade Darach pokemon pokedex Ghettodex requested
This guy uses his elbows like swords, so be careful if one decides to hug you.
Chandelure Morty Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested
This pokemon’s fire is fueled by the spirits of its victims. Well, at least it’s kinda going green.
Trubbish Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested
These pokemon walk around and pick up trash. Isn’t that nice of them?
Dusclops pokemon Ghettodex pokedex requested
The inside of this pokemon’s body is completely hollow, kind of like the empty space where your mother’s self-respect used to be before you were born. BURN.
Brycen Brycen-Man Ghettodex Pokemon Pokemon Misbehaving Zoroark pokedex requested Stupid Sexy Pokemon
See: Lucario ghettodex
(Disclaimer: We here at the Ghettodex does not endorse pokephillia or pokemon pornography.)
(Disclaimer: 5 is a pansy, Gabe totally endorses it.)
Ghettodex Jynx Pokemon Misbehaving Vanilluxe froslass nsfw pokedex pokemon requested Stupid Sexy Pokemon
IT HAS TITTIES, I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY!
(Warning: Never do a hit off a vanilluxe’s straw. You’ll get lung frostbite and die.)
Ghettodex Lucario Nate Riolu Kid Rosa pokedex pokemon requested Stupid Sexy Pokemon
Look at this sexy beast! There is nothing about this pokemon that is anything but pure, fur covered sex appeal!
Frillish Ghettodex pokedex pokemon requested Pokemon Misbehaving
Kinda like tentacool, only instead of being irritating, they fucking murder you.
(Plus5Pencil: I know I already made this joke with Touhou, please forgive me. I couldn’t help myself.)
Kadabra Lickilicky pokemon Ghettodex pokedex requested
These pokemon are known as cereal killers…GET IT? GET IT? Please laugh, oh god…
Beedrill Ghettodex pokemon pokedex Youngster requested
OH GOD NOT THE BEES WHY AM I IN THE FOREST HALP
Ghettodex Moltres pokedex pokemon requested Stupid Sexy Pokemon
The flaming pokemon. Moltres is fabulous, he bedazzles everyone he sees with his stunning wings.
(Disclaimer: Please don’t yell at us, Gabe is a massive homo.)
Oddish Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested
These guys come out only at night. Most often they are seen at night clubs and raves.
Ghettodex Lance Xatu pokedex pokemon requested Pokemon Mishaps
Xatu are able to see into the future, but the little bastards still won’t tell me next week’s lotto numbers!
(Plus5Pencil: We’re back, baby! Doctor gave me the all clear to go back to drawing, but Gabe says I can only make one Ghettodex entry a day or he’ll beat me for overworking myself.)
Zorua Shauntal Grimsley Marshal Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested
These little guys are known for transforming to stay hidden. They are most commonly owned by very lonely people.
(Note from Plus5Pencil: I managed to overwork both my arms to the point of constant pain. Gabe said if I drew any more Ghettodex entries with an injured hand he’d cut me, so there won’t be any updates for a couple days AND we gotta put the big upcoming project on hold. It’s about 70% done though, so I hope to finish it as soon as my arms are better.)
Archeops Ghettodex pokedex pokemon requested Pokemon Mishaps
These pokemon fly by running really fast and trying to get lift. Their enemies are rocks, trees, and water.
Ghettodex Ninetales Pokemon Misbehaving pokedex pokemon requested Stupid Sexy Pokemon
The MILF pokemon, most often seen trying to get into their children’s friends’ pants.
Galvantula Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested
HOW COULD SOMETHING AS CUTE AS JOLTIK TURN INTO THIS? ITS’S LIKE A DOG AND A SPIDER GOT DRUNK TOGETHER AND HAD A WEIRD BABY!
Porygon2 Ghettodex pokemon pokedex requested Pokemon Mishaps
An upgrade to porygon. Smaller, slimmer, and overheats 15x easier! Hope you got a warranty.