I am a Clean Person, and you can ask me stuff: [email protected]
I'm also the author of "My Boyfriend Barfed In My Handbag ... And Other Things You Can't Ask Martha"
Buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound | iTunes
How Do I Clean Up All This Mouse Poop?
Down With Cutesy Cleaning Supplies
The Most Genius Tricks Ever for Cleaning Period Stains | TeenVogue.com
I Raked Grout For Ten Hours. You Won’t Believe What Happened Next!
How To Clean a Fleshlight (Yes, You Need To Clean Your Fleshlight)
What To Do About Your Dirty Helmets And Stinky Cars
How to Convert a Bed-Making Denier in 5 Easy Steps | Swimmingly
10 Ways to Save a Scorched Pot | Swimmingly
My God, Don’t Rub Oranges On Your White Dress Shirts
I seriously love you people and the weird, weird things that you do to your clothing/homes/persons.
Gettin’ Busy On The Furniture: A Stain Removal Guide | Swimmingly
No One Looks Forward to Doing Dishes, But You Can Make It Less Horrible | Swimmingly
girls are dumb about sports, but cleaning? Now there’s a topic they can write about! Right deadspincom ?
Deadspin’s entire editorial staff and all staff writers (there is one female contributor, who writes about cleaning).
I’m not dumb about sports. I began my career as a reporter at Sports Illustrated and a producer at FoxSports.
My book about cleaning is a New York Times bestseller.
In closing, men clean too.
Hair, There, Everywhere! Part Two: Drains. | Swimmingly
Hair, There, Everywhere! Part One. | Swimmingly
This was one of those posts that I outlined, started writing and then realized was more like two or three separate pieces. “This thing is turning into a monster,” I told my editor. “I LOVE A MONSTER!”
Part Two will be devoted to dealing with hair in drains, then I’m planning to make you A VACUUM CLEANER PRIMER. I know! It’s all terribly exciting!
Year of the Clean Person: It’s Time to Purge Your Winter Clothes
How To Clean, Preserve And/Or Salvage Your Wedding Dress
How to Divide Chores So You Don’t Kill Each Other | Swimmingly
I have a new column on Swimmingly devoted to alllllll kinds of cleaning problems that couples face. I hope you like it! Got topics you want me to take on? Email me!
Spring Clean Your Sex Life with Jolie Kerr Tickets, New York - Eventbrite
Join me TOMORROW at 5p for what I hope will be an amazing and hilarious and informative event at Babeland LES!
Your Bong Is Filthy. Let’s Clean It.
Jolie Kerr on cleaning tips | Home Front - The Washington Post
The live chat I’m doing with The Washington Post begins in about 15 minutes—come on by and ask me stuff!
Embarrassed By the State of Your Fridge? Jolie Kerr Has 4 Strategies to Help | The Kitchn
The pink gloves they used to illustrate this post suggests cleaning a fridge is women’s work. It is not. Other than that, I’m thrilled with how this turned out!
Jolie Kerr on cleaning tips | Home Front - The Washington Post
I’m joining The Washington Post’s Home Front live chat to answer your cleaning questions on Thursday at 11a EDT you can ask things of me now or just join us day of!
Yes, You Can Wash A Pillow
How Do I Clean My Hitachi Magic Wand?
Baseline Bathroom Standards: Let’s Do This
Whoops! Posted this to the wrong account—I blame the password reset mess for this!
Year of the Clean Person: This April, Create Your Dream Bathroom
Sorcery And Witchcraft: How To Fold A Fitted Sheet
The Fridge and Microwave Are a Disgusting Hellscape. Help Me, Please.
How To Get Your Kid’s Marker Stains Out Of The Goddamn Couch
Bless. This is why writing about cleaning for Deadspin is SO. MUCH. FUN.
LET'S ALL MAKE OUR BEDS LAMOB
Year Of The Clean Person: This March, Make Your Bed!
LAMOB IS BACK, BITCHES!!!
One Weird Old Trick To Remove White Water Stains From Wood
Joles and I just heard someone on Allen Street beep the Godfather theme and are now fantasizing about buying a 1976 Cadillac Eldorado convertible. I want red, she wants Paulie Walnuts gold, and we may compromise with white and a red leather interior.
"But white cars are so hard to keep clean.”
"Bubba. You’re married to me. I don’t think you need to worry about that.”
Tips For Removing Goo Buildup On Tables And Cleaning Spice Grinders
What Can I Do About This Ring Around The Collar?
Help! My Sweaty Ass Is Stinking Up My Car
The Year of the Clean Person: Your 2014 Cleaning Calendar
WHO’S WITH ME?!?!
How to Clean Murky, Moldy, Musty Humidifiers and Kettles
Early Access to the Hottest New Penguin Books | First to Read
Good morning, dust bunnies! Are you finding yourself in a state of near hysteria because you just cannot wait for February 25th to read my book? I COME BEARING GREAT NEWS! My Boyfriend Barfed In My Handbag … And Other Things You Can’t Ask Martha is one of Penguin’s First To Read selections, which means you can sign up/sell your soul for access to an advance digital copy of the book.
A plea: Would you consider leaving a review on Amazon? Would you also consider still purchasing the book when it comes out? Would you still attend the book launch event on February 26 at Powerhouse Arena in DUMBO?
Okay! I’m going to resume worrying that no one will buy my book. Good talk!
How to Turn Your Stained And Moldy Bathtubs Into a Spa-Like Oasis
The Clean Person Holiday Gift Guide 2013
A Guide For Cleaning Every Possible Thanksgiving Stain (Like Blood)
I do love a holiday clean-up primer!
Your Hockey Gear Is Foul. Clean It, Or Else.
It’s pieces like these where I think my insanity really shines.
How to Keep Your Sweaters and Slippers Clean and Pill-Free
Winter-themed Clean Persons just keep on coming!
Tomorrow Will Be a Mess. Here’s Your Post-Halloween Cleanup Primer.
Winter Is Hard On Your Shoes. Here’s What To Do About It.
Last week’s Deadspin Squalor covered 3 Clever Tricks For Cleaning Your Moldy, Scummy Bathroom. It also marked the first appearance of the Squalor archive! I hope you all find it useful in terms of seeing what’s already been covered. I’ll post the entire archive here shortly.
My next big task is cataloguing every one of the topics I took on while writing the original Ask a Clean Person at The Hairpin. (If I say it out loud I’m hoping it makes it real? Oh man, it’s a daunting amount of work you guys.)
In honor of the cooler weather, I devoted this week’s Ask a Clean Person to the subject of How to Clean Scorched Pots and Befouled Ovens
Your Sheets Are Filthy. Here’s Why (And How) To Change Them.
Remember my little Deadspin sheet washing poll? Results are in!
Waging War Against Sink Smells And Gasoline Pants
THE GIF OH MY GOD THE GIF